A Note from the Universe

This just in, Tasha... no matter how happy you have ever been, even at your happiest, it won't come close to how happy you will one day be.

Trust me, I'm there now -

    The Universe

I get these inspirational quotes sent to my email on a daily basis.  My victim advocate recommended theuniverse@tut.com.  She stated that it always felt like the Universe was talking to her.  She was right. 

Summarizing the quote, “Everyone deserves to be happy!”  Why stay in a situation, rather it is a job, marriage, friendship, etc., where you are miserable?  For me, staying in a relationship, where I was disheartened, depressed and unhappy, was because I did not want to the world to see me as a women who could not keep her second marriage together.  I was in a relationship with a man who did not know what he wanted in family and not only did he admit that he had no respect for me, but disrespected me on a regular basis. 

Now I will not sit here and say that we did not share happy moments but the awful things that had been done to me clouded the joyful memories.  I will also not sit here and pretend that I am the perfect person, because I have done things to him that was not so nice.  What I will say is that every action has a reaction.  Many of his actions have caused me to react in a negative way.  I am human and I have feelings too but acting out negatively only showed that he had the upper hand. 

Going back to the statement, “No matter how happy you have ever been, even at your happiest, it will not come close to how happy you will be one day.”  It took me a while to get back to my happy point.  I have had so many regrets and feelings of guilt for leaving my stepdaughter (whom I often referred to as my daughter) behind.  I felt like I was giving up on her.  I also had guilt because I was walking away from something that I have become familiar with for years but my safety, happiness and sanity's much more important.  Moreover,  it was just impossible to have a healthy relationship with this man. 

I want to close with another quote from my social worker “you put everything in your beach ball and gave it all to him.”  She told me that, giving a person all of you just gives them power over you.  There is nothing wrong with loving, but you have to keep something for yourself.  Of everything that she has told me, this stuck out the most.  I will love again and I will remember not to give the next person everything in my beach ball.  The universe said, “It won’t come close to how happy you will one day be.” The universe was right, what I thought made me happy has not come even close to how happy I am today!

Thank you Universe!

Tasha